Rest in Peace

April 21, 1948 – December 12, 2008

Relatives and friends may call at Borgwardt Funeral Home, 4400 Powder Mill Rd., Beltsville, MD, Thursday and Friday 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m.

A memorial service has been planned for Saturday, February 7, 2009. It will be held in Riverdale Presbyterian Church, 6513 Queens Chapel Road, University Park, MD, 20782 at 2:00 PM.

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Marita slept peacefully through the night with a break at two. She had pain meds today only at ten and one, yet she continued to rest comfortably through the day and evening. However she also has become less responsive to our attempts at engagement. Her heart continues strong but her body is signalling that the end is near.

Dan came over late last night when it appeared that things might be changing. He was set to be here all day today. It is good to have him here overnight.

Jim once again came in from Warrenton to help out all day. There wasn't much to do as Marita barely budged even during Sherry's examining. Sherry provided more guidance on what to expect as conditions progress.

Chaya came after Sherry left and sat with us until dinnertime.

Vanessa and the children were here for dinner and stayed until Russ arrived from NJ.

Russ brought some food and drink for tomorrow but we started on part of it before going to bed.

Once again Marita slept through almost the entire night. She needed a break around midnight but went until after 10am before waking.

Elaine came to provide another caring hand for most of the day.

Of course Delores was here as scheduled so they were able to cover Marita while I dealt with work matters.

Ellen and Charlie brought dinner for Adrian and me.

Marita was in bed by eight. She had slept through most of the day again.

Marita slept through the entire night after a little blip before midnight.

Dan was here all day. For the most part Marita was resting while we rolled our eyes about the scandal in Illinois. Once she woke from her nap we were able to get her out of her night clothes and ready for the rest of the day. She has lost quite a bit of weight, especially since she has been eating so little.

Glenda was here for another Tuesday massage session. Marita still seems to enjoy these.

Jesse was here at the end of the day. Adrian arrived after work. The four of us shared our thoughts about Marita and the days ahead.

Vanessa and the children came for dinner.

Today was off to a rough start after both of us slept on and off overnight.

Adrian was here all day helping out on his day off.

Thelma and Louise checked in around lunchtime.

Sherry made the usual Monday nursing review. She ordered a change in the meds to get around Marita's difficulty swallowing. Marita's circulation appears to be less and her BP and pulse are showing signs that her heart is working harder.

Red Strikers Diane and Sarah came mid-afternoon to see what we needed. Marita was again sleeping through the day after Sherry left.

Marita was in bed around nine.

Dan stayed overnight again. He was there when I needed him during the wee hours. We avoided using the extended release pain medication today. Marita was fine with that change but again she did not eat or drink much.

Julie and Darrell came to visit at three. We sat together at the table but Marita did not engage. She seems to want to be in the mix when she is awake.

Prudy and Gerry came over with Linda and Jack and visited for the rest of the afternoon.

Rima picked up some items on our grocery list and dropped them off.

Marita was in bed around eight.

Dan stayed overnight along with the boys. He wanted to be available in case Marita or yours truly had a difficult night. He also wanted to let me have a chance to play my first soccer game since June with my over-55 team.

Chase, of course, had to have his usual camping experience when staying over. This time we set up the tent in our bedroom. Drew was not impressed. He stayed close to Daddy.

Jim came in very early to join Dan in caring for Marita while I was out recreating. Upon my return we had time to relax together watching football and Marita sleep.

Marita's night was better than usual. She slept long and soundly with only one middle of the night interruption. Still she didn't eat much for breakfast. Then she had herself planted on the couch and nodded off most of the day. For the second day in a row she chewed on her extended release medication tablet. We will need another strategy if this continues.

Vanessa came with Claudia later in the afternoon so the whole gang had dinner together.

This morning both of us stayed in bed until 9:30. Marita wanted out of bed at 3am so it seemed best to start banking some more rest.

All in all this was a good day for Marita. She had cream of wheat and then some potato soup for breakfast. She drank water and juice. She had chocolate ice cream and lemon sherbet. She did well with most of the meds.

Kathy was here for her usual Friday visit. Marita kept both of us busy through the day much like happened Wednesday with Delores. One little thing after another adds up.

Diane came to be with us after Kathy left at four. She sat with Marita and cared for her until Adrian came home after work.

Marita went to bed at eight.

Dan added Thursday to his caregiving commitment today. He and I conferred with Jesse about planning final arrangements.

Jim came in from VA to be with us all day. Marita napped on and off today. Jim worked on pulling pictures of Marita from our pile of 80's vintage slides.

Sherry made her usual Thursday check on Marita. There appear to be signs now that Marita is slowing down.

Chaya made a hospice visit at 3:30. Dan met with her while Jim and I went to the mall for a beer and a bite to eat.

Kathy stopped by to say a quick hello.

Marita went to bed during the afternoon and didn't wake until 3am.

Marita suddenly changed her recent routine today. After a little pop of itchiness to get up at dawn she was pretty much up most of the day. When she woke she complained about not going anywhere or eating anything for four days. We couldn't go to far but we at least had a day in which she had food, drink and a pretty much normal set of meds. It wasn't until after six that all the activity caught up with Marita so that she had to go to bed.

Delores was here per usual on Wednesday. She and I work together and separately on all the combinations of movement that Marita's care required. May God bless you, delores.

Charlie and I were in touch during the day over work. We decided to continue our discussion here after hours. While Charlie prepared stuffing for his holiday party we knocked down a few shots of Balvenie.

Deniz caught up with us before we were done so she joined us for a small one. After Charlie left Deniz sat with Marita as she lay in bed.

Dan and Tom were here early today to help us get started. We had coffee while Marita rested a little longer.

Vanessa came a bit later in the morning. She cared for Marita while Dan and I went to the University of Maryland Hearing and Speech clinic to return the assistive devices before their trial period expired. It was a very emotional visit as we shared with Paula the highs and lows of our effort to keep Marita hearing.

Mercy dropped in for a brief hello.

Glenda was here for Marita's weekly massage. As always Marita enjoyed this hour of calm and comfort. After the massage Marita napped for a few more hours.

Meanwhile Dan and I sifted through many years of slides to identify and photocopy memories of our dear sweetheart and mother.

Tony and Dail had breakfast with us and then headed home to NJ. Before leaving Tony braved the morning chill to give our gutters a final (hopefully) cleaning.

Adrian had breakfast with us and spent his day off helping care for Marita.

Thelma, Louise and Tami came for a lunchtime visit, quickly polishing off our backlog of unfolded laundry.

Dennis stopped in to share a mid-afternoon home brew that Tony left behind. Then he got himself up to speed on recent Star Trek reruns with Adrian while I did some telecommuting downstairs.

Marita continued her pattern of napping almost the whole day and eating very little.

Tony and Dail were here for us today. We allowed Marita to sleep late undisturbed. Dan arrived after noon to spend the afternoon.

Tony prepared a hearty bean and sausage soup which we consumed while watching the Giants beat the Redskins. Marita took in a cup of butternut squash soup, some milk, some juice. She continued to nap most of the time.

Tony, Dail and I played video poker until 11.

Marita was in bed before 6 and slept comfortably until 4. We were in and out of sleep until 8.

Dan and Chase spent the night with us. Dan was here in case we had another difficult night. As it turned out it was a bit of the usual but it wasn't easy getting there.

Gerry and Linda returned after breakfast. The daylight hours were spent sitting together and giving Marita comfort and assistance as needed.

Tony and Dail came down late tonight to be with us Sunday.

Marita stayed in bed late today. She spent a little part of the afternoon with us and then returned to bed.

Dan stayed overnight to be available. Vanessa and the children came after breakfast.

Gerry and Linda arrived from NJ around 3pm. Linda organized our Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner.



Gerry, Chase, Linda, Dan and I relaxed over a little video poker.

Happy Thanksgiving
We grilled the turkey at our place for the third year.

Charlotte prepared our 2008 timeline based on those we had for 2006 and 2007. Dan took charge of the grill, prepping and grilling the turkey.
Adrian and I peeled, boiled and mashed 10 pounds of potatoes.
We had contributions from Dan and Prudy for sweet potatoes, turnips and pie.
Vanessa did everything else.

Deniz joined us for the meal. Marita slept through dinner.

Delores was here as usual on Wednesdays. She was able to feed Marita most of her breakfast cereal, but Marita wouldn't take anything more. Marita spent most of the day napping.

Lina and Lynne visited later in the afternoon. Adrian joined us after coming home from work.

Marita went to bed early again but didn't rest very well once I came to bed at 11. We were up several times until she finally settled between 2 and 3.

Dan and Rob were both here early today but I chose to take snooze time over exercise. Dan did the honors serving Marita breakfast but sad to say she wasn't as eager to eat as yesterday. She even resisted soup offerings.





The refrigerator is ready for Thanksgiving. Please no food for a few days, friends.









Glenda was here for Marita's Tuesday massage.

Shelley stopped in while in town to pick her son up at Maryland.

John came to make sure that Marita's teeth didn't require more serious attention at his office.

Vanessa and the kids were here for dinnertime. Marita stepped it up a bit by eating several soup variations but her appetite is still spare.

Rob returned to be with us for another day. He came early again so I was able to work out before getting Marita ready. Rob picked up the egg and sausage sandwich Marita seems to like. Happily she again finished it all. We had Marita bathed, dressed and fed in time for an 11am massage.

Robin came again to provide massage for Marita. She is provided by hospice and is available twice each month.

Jesse arrived before Robin was finished so he sat with Adrian, Rob and me over coffee. We discussed Thanksgiving plans and Marita's recent behavioral changes. Marita was too zonked out after the massage to handle much pastoral care.


Sherry checked in with us around one. We decided to give Marita's throat a break by stopping a few of the pills for a while. She is sleeping well and hasn't had any stomach discomfort so we will see if she can do without those meds. Since her days have been so short recently we are also reducing her 3pd day pills to 2pd.



Adrian took a break from his caregiving to go shopping for our Thanksgiving turkey.

Karen made a quick visit to drop off another dinner from the Red Strikers.

Maggie joined us for part of the afternoon. She arranged for our dentist to come by tomorrow after Marita's Tuesday massage so we wouldn't have to bring her in the the office unless there is something worrisome.

Rita popped in to say hello and spend a few minutes with us. Meanwhile Rob slipped out and promised to return Tuesday.

Clark came out after work bringing his potato-leek soup that Marita loves so much she has two bowls. We relaxed over a beer or two as we waited for Marita to end her nap.

Eileen came a little later to round out the group. She brought a Moroccan lamb stew because she had heard me raving about Rima's dish and wanted to give it a try. We get to see how much they differ on the theme.

John L arrived as we were sipping through the soup. He brought more dinner. We gave part of it an immediate taste because it was the kind of soft food Marita now prefers.

It is becoming clear that Marita is not able to keep herself going all day and that her days have become shorter. She has begun to insist on an early bedtime even when she rises late and has a nap during the day.

It also helps to have many hands available to provide care. Marita is doing less for herself. Activities of daily living happen sequentially rather than in parallel.

Maureen came to help us through breakfast today. Marita was not pleased with what I had prepared, but fortunately, Maureen brought some chicken vegetable soup so we were able to make the adjustment quickly. Still it was necessary to puree the soup so she could swallow the larger pieces.

Adrian was off work. He stayed around to keep us company and be ready to assist Marita.

Robert joined us in mid-afternoon. We enjoyed the Belgian abbey ale he brought as we sat with Marita through more soups and an early bedtime.

Dan came shortly after Robert. After getting Marita to bed we sifted through old slides and 70's memories.

Jimmy stopped by to say hello and bring us a pumpkin pie for Thansgiving.

Marita and I were alone for much of the day. It was a challenge to make it through breakfast without supporting hands. Marita is having more trouble swallowing and is not able to easily feed herself.

Dan, Vanessa and the grands came mid-afternoon. I broke out the seviche Charlotte made.

Prudy, Gerry and Dan P came over for a little happy hour. Prudy brought a soup for Marita. We found that it may now work best to puree Marita's food.

Once again Marita went to bed before eight.

Once again I had time to do a morning workout to start the day as Rob arrived early to get breakfast organized and watch over Marita.

Kathy was here for her weekly visit. She regularly brings a sandwich for Marita. Today it had greater impact because Marita devoured all of it. She has been getting picky with the food lately, partly because the problem she has swallowing.

Pam and Gloria, old friends from days past at CT Reed, came by at lunchtime. They shared stories and pictures with us, including the one posted today on the left.

Robin came to give Marita a massage in mid-afternoon. Marita had been having discomfort today but she seemed to relax for the massage.

Marita balked at eating dinner and insisted on going to bed instead. It was a struggle but she ate, but not much. I will have to roust her later for her bedtime meds.

Rob and Charlotte were on the scene today. Again they came early enough for me to exercise before getting Marita up. Maggie joined us a short while later so Marita had a full table of companions for breakfast. The trio were close by all day so I had time to get some work done.



Charlotte recreated our Thanksgiving Day game plan and with Maggie's help prepared seviche with tilapia, shrimp and scallops.







Rima and Shawna stopped in early afternoon. They folded laundry after visiting with Marita for a bit.

Sherry was made her usual Thursday check. Chaya followed a short time later.

Ellen arrived shorly after four. She visited with us and then sat through dinner helping feed Marita.

Marita was especially tired after dinner so we put her to bed early.

Rob was back again early this morning to start the breakfast routine for us. Since I was up a little earlier I took the opportunity to put my erg to good use before he arrived.

Marita's appetite is variable lately. This week she has been doing well with hot cereals, soups and pasta dishes. She enjoys soup during the afternoon. She did well with dinner this evening.

Delores joined us for her regular Wednesday visit. She stayed a little longer today. Perhaps she enjoyed today's company sharing the watch over Marita.

Marita resisted the sofa until noon but there is only so much sitting she can take. She rests well on the sofa but tends to nod off, as she did for several hours today. Pain and anxiety were not a problem today.

Communication is a challenge. The hearing assitive devices do not provide consistent engagement. Often writing on a whiteboard has been more reliable.



Nancy was back in town from SC. She relaxed with Marita, Delores, Rob and me but still had time to service the wheelchair.





Charlotte and Margaret came by to catch up with Rob before heading downtown for dinner.

Deniz visited with us for a little while after dinner. Marita had her usual foot bath and then hit the sack early.

Rob was back again today. He came a little earlier to prepare and serve Marita's breakfast. She has switched to cream of wheat this past week. She is insistent on warm food and drink. She has also begun to demand a bit of coffee, usually out of my cup.

Rob stayed near Marita all day keeping her safe and entertained.

Dan came for his Tuesday time with us. He stayed all day and into bedtime. Vanessa joined us after noon so we had most of our clan on board today.

Glenda gave Marita her usual Tuesday massage. Even the kids were calm while she was here.

Tami came to visit after work. She shared some quiet time with Marita over a bit of soup.

Vanessa and the children left before dinner. Dan stayed with us and helped me with the nightly bedtime routine.

Lally stayed with us through breakfast and then was on her way to NH.






Rob is back in the house. Together we guided Marita through the maze of medications and food choices for breakfast. In between visitors I spent much of the day raking leaves.

Jesse came for his Monday spiritual visit. He gave Adrian special attention this morning after catching up on the week with Marita.

Sherry made her nursing visit after lunch. Marita has had several days in a row with less pain. She also seems less anxious.

Thelma and Louise popped in after Sherry departed. They dropped off a meal from Iland and Tiana.

Red Strikers Nancy, Sarah and Karen came with dinner and did extra duty by running out to the Giant with our shopping list.

Rob sat with Marita most of the day and engaged everyone as I raked. Then the three of us had a bowl of soup together before he headed off to Annapolis. Before Rob left son Jose stopped in after school to be with us. He finished off the last of Sunday's fajitas while we got dinner organized and then was off.


Marita willingly took her foot bath and retired comfortably at 9:30.

Today promised to be a nice slow day and we were not disappointed.

Lally began her day with a visit to our local parish St. Mark's. I delayed getting up until nine to give myself time to recover from staying up late lately. Still Marita was dressed and deep into her oatmeal before eleven.




Dan stopped by to say hello and leave a meal for us.





Darrell joined us for a bit in mid-afternoon. He worked with the whiteboard. He also swept the stairs clear of leaves before he left.



Lenore came down from PA for a special visit. We had fajitas for dinner. Marita skipped the epsom salt bath.

Today we tried something new. So far all Marita's trips out of the house have been for doctor's appointments or to vote. Lally expressed an interest in visiting the National Shrine so we asked Marita if she would like to go there.
Road Trip.



We got ourselved ready and made sure not to dally after breakfast. We were able to get on the road before one. It was a bit squishy getting out and Marita was notably weaker supporting her weight but the benefits of the day were significant.



We spent almost four hours at the shrine. It was a time of peace and calm, in effect a spiritual massage.

When we returned we had some soup and then continued to graze until bedtime, ie. 7:30 for Marita. Dan came down to hang with us so she managed to last until nine-ish. Afterwards Dan and I shared a few brews until Adrian came home.

Lally did the breakfast honors again today. We are starting to get Marita back on a routine again. Unfortunately she wants to go to bed earlier now so it is harder to get up before she is stirring.

Kathy appeared for her usual Friday caregiving assist. We were still at breakfast when she arrived.

Rob joined us after arriving from Colorado. We sat around the table bringing him up to date on events since his visit last month. Later in the day he and I walked to the mall to pick up a prescription and a couple of whiteboards, an attempt to include writing in our communication pathways.

Sherry made a nursing visit and ordered replenishment of most of our drug inventory.

Fr. Dillon visited before dinner.

Lally continued her visit. She worked with me to figure out what Marita would eat for breakfast. Marita seems to be leaving food untouched that she would have devoured earlier. We may have a challenge getting her appetite back.

Mercy came with soup for lunch. It is never a problem getting Marita to take soup.




Louise, Shelley and Carolyn came visiting a little later in the afternoon.




Chaya came to work with Marita about sharing her concerns. The hearing assistive devices were not helping their communication so Chaya tried writing questions on a pad. This seemed to help as they went on for over an hour.

Today promised to be quiet day with no excitement on the schedule. However Marita couldn't get comfortable after breakfast and complained of a headache again. We tried the Tylenol approach but it didn't work this time. We called the hospice hot line rather than continue guessing. We brought the pain under control with an added dose of the usual meds.
Lally was here to share the breakfast routine and grab loose ends.

Delores came for the Wednesday assist from hospice. She joined with Lally and I in soothing Marita.

Glenda came for an added massage seesion.

Katie returned to VA after breakfast. Lally started her weeklong visit.

Paula and Keithia came from UMD to make sure we were set up correctly with the hearing aids and the conversor transmitter. We are getting good and not so good results from these.

Dan came for his regular Tuesday stint. He was here most of the day keeping Marita safe, fed and relaxed.

Gerry appeared around midday to see how we were doing. He became a newly-minted grandfather on the seventh.

Glenda came for Marita's Tuesday massage session. Once again Marita was at peace and relaxed by Glenda's touch.

Tami stopped by after work for a quick hello and pleasant chit-chat.

Vanessa and the kids joined us at dinnertime.

Jake and Katie stayed on past the weekend. This morning they once more took care of Marita's bath and breakfast. Jake had to head back to NY around noon.

Jesse was here to sit with Marita and share a spiritual time together. Marita was in a sad mood today. Jesse helps her with these issues. Today it was particularly poignant when she recited the prayer of St. Francis after Jesse asked if she had a favorite prayer.

Sherry made her regular Monday visit. Pain and anxiety management are the big issues. Marita's right eye continues to improve. Her hearing seems to be getting worse.

Elaine stopped in for a quick hello. Then Karen appeared with a meal on behalf of the Red Strikers.

Dennis came by to check on the Guinness supply and finish the tile repair in the bathroom. Marita was deep in sleep as we sampled a second libation in the basement watching Adrian play video games.

Lally arrived from NH and got herself settled.

At day's end Chaya checked in from hospice.

Katie and Jake continued their visit, getting Marita ready and preparing breakfast again.
Lori and Linda came to visit around one. They stayed with Marita for most of the afternoon while I cleaned the gutters and raked leaves.
Dan, Vanessa and the children joined us for dinner.

Kate and Jake got Marita ready for the day prepared her breakfast.
Mary Pat and Christine came early in the afternoon to visit for most of the afternoon.
Dan and Tom showed up just before dinner and kidnapped me to a local spot for some wings and beers.
Vanessa and the kids visited with Marita while we were out.

The big challenge today was to get out to the University of Maryland without an extra hand on the wheelchair, but we made it.
We had an early appointment at the UMD hearing and speech clinic with Paula, Keithia and Sharon. They had prepared a pair of hearing aids for Marita to use with the Conversor we got earlier. They seem to offer promise but it remains to be seen how much we can get on the moving target represented by Marita's hearing. Marita started to have a painful headache while we were there.
Kathy arrived for her weekly visit shortly after we got home. She helped us start the process of fiddling with all the hearing devices.
Vanessa and Claudia came to hang with us for a few hours.
Katie arrived for a weekend visit later in the afternoon.
Jake arrived shorly after dinner for a similar visit.

We had a pretty good day today.
Sherry made her usual Thursday hospice care visit to check on Marita's health and medications.
Thelma and Louise appeared at midday.
Joe and Kay joined us at five to bring dinner and visit for a bit.

Today started out with great promise. Marita was comfortable overnight and was dressed and ready early. It turned out to be filled with ups and downs.
Delores appeared for her weekly hospice visit.
Diane stopped in to say a quick hello on her way to work.
Rima and Shawna came after calling ahead to make sure Marita was doing okay. By time they arrived she was having considerable discomfort. It was a challenge to deal with the pain in conjunction with Marita's hearing and vision loss.
Glenda came to give the weekly Wednesday massage. These sessions have been a reliable bedrock of relief over time.
In the evening we attempted to do some of the PT exercises we were given the day before.

ELECTION DAY 2008

Dan came early after voting to lift us through another Tuesday. He stayed with Marita while I voted and surveyed the situation for her to vote later.
Paula and Keithia came from UMD with The Conversor, an assistive listening device designed to work with hearing aids or by itself. It has a microphone with an FM transmitter to help remove background noise and deliver enhanced sound to its receiver. The receiver can be used with headphones, earbuds or hearing aids. It is clearly a step up but it does not seem to give Marita complete clarity and comprehension.

We had inclement weather here today. Getting to the polls across the street required our first bad weather excursion through the yard with the wheelchair. Fortunately, it was a light drizzle so we managed just fine. As leaves accumulate it may become a different story.

Marita voted with my assistance. There was no line so the wait was minimal. It took more time to deal with getting me into the booth to assist her. Adrian cast his first vote in this election.

After voting Marita had a Physical Therapy evaluation in Largo for her ankle foot drop. The therapist did a more extensive evaluation. She gave us exercises to work the foot muscles.

Glenda was able to push our appointment back to 4 so Marita didn't miss her regular Tuesday massage. These massages are so beneficial for her relief.

The rest of the day went well. WE tool a little time to practicse some of the PT but still got to bed early.

It looks like the return to standard time will present new challenges. Marita seems be on savings time while I have made the switch. We haven't discussed it together. I am now the one who is always late - mostly by an hour.

Jesse came to give counsel during the noontime. Sherry came for the routine Monday nursing followup.

Red Strikers Nancy, Diane, Karen and Sarah were joined by Maggie.

Sunday turned out to be an opportunity for taking a road trip to Lewes. We were there Labor Day weekend but had since been relying on the kindness of friends to do things that we could not do there. Neighbors Mary and Joe took delivery of a chest of drawers for the living room. Prudy and Gerry surfed through the kitchen and refrigerator to keep exotic wildlife at bay. Still, there are things one needs to face personally.


We had a ladder guy handy in brother Russ, his willingness to be on the road all day, and Catherine and Jan's readiness to manage Marita's needs for the day. Russ got our screens into safety for the winter and we got things ready for closing.

Charlie and Anne timed their visit to our return in mid-afternoon. They shared travel notes with Jan who raved about her recent trip to Slovenia.

Jenoba and David came over to boost Marita's spirits with a home-made card from Jared and Caleb.

Today was a great improvement over the past few days. Marita was much more comfortable. She was also able to do some physical therapy and make a few trips using the walker.

Jan arrived early to help get breakfast on the table and tend to Marita all day.

Russ, Catherine and Gillian came down from NY to put themselves to good use. Catherine and Jan kept Marita comfortable and entertained. Russ helped with cleaning the gutters and making barbequed pork loin for dinner.

Dan, Vanessa, Chase, Drew and Claudia joined us for dinner.

Happy Halloween.

Jan arrived last night from California and came this morning to be with Marita all day. Kathy popped in as usual on Fridays. They shared with me the challenge of feeding Marita breakfast and leaning on her to take her meds.

I took a hiatus down to the office to return my parking pass and visit a bit with my co-workers. My office calendar still showed September 8. This was only the second time back since then.

In my absence Sherry came back again to make sure Marita was okay. In addition to yesterday's discomfort Marita complained of a headache today.

Brenda and Eiland also came to visit. Brenda brought dinner. Eiland dabbed Marita's hands and feet with lotion just as Marita has done with the kids at school.

Darrell stopped by on his way home from the local puppet show.

Trick or treaters cleaned us out by 9.

Not a great day. Marita was very uncomfortable when she woke. Sherry came early to help get us to a better place.

Marita is spending more time asleep during the day now. She is not showing the kind of energy she had before.

Vanessa and Claudia were here for the early afternoon. Today would have been tough without them.

Elaine came to visit after work. She helped Marita with dinner.

An early start allowed me to put in thirty minutes on my rower. Finding the opportunity for exercise and then doing it has been difficult so far. Still we were able to be ready for the day earlier than usual.

Today we met Delores for the first time. She is a volunteer from hospice who will be visiting with Marita every Wednesday. Vanessa arrived with Claudia just before Delores. It was nice getting to know one another.

Margaret came from Annapolis to bring a seat cushion for Marita's wheelchair. We tried it out right away and it looks like it will work fine. Margaret had T-Bone in tow so she brought him in to meet the children.


Prudy and Linda joined us in mid-afternoon to have a visit and dinner with us.

Tuesday is Dan's day with us. Today we had a morning appointment at the University of Maryland Hearing and Speech Clinic to see what options were available to help Marita hear better. We ordered an assistive device called The Conversor.

Dan entertained and cared for Marita all day. Glenda came to give Marita her weekly massage.



Sarah and Sue visited with Marita later in the afternoon.





Deniz came after work to be with us.

We had an early morning podiatry appointment today in Kensington. Traffic was a mess as usual but less aggravating to Marita than the tight fit of the examining chair. The chair was positioned too close to the wall so the aide couldn't get the backrest back far enough fot Marita to be comfortable. It wasn't pretty.

We were back in time to welcome Steven. He is in town from Nicaragua. He is a rowing buddy. It was great to have him hang out for a few hours. We hadn't seen hime in some time.



David came with Vanessa and Claudia. He brought a very tasty, and spicy, Vietnamese Pho soup.





Several of the Red Strikers came in mid-afternoon.

Lynne brought a pan of ziti for dinner. Since it arrived hot we had to enjoy it almost immediately. Marita had multiple helpings.

Today started off as usual. Marita was ready for breakfast by 10. Carol and Carolyn dressed her and made sure she had what she wanted



Leni came over for a quick visit around noon.






Abby and Price stopped by on their way back from a christening in Alexandria.
Maureen checked in with us later in the afternoon but Marita was napping.

Carolyn and Carol were pleased to share a bit of Pinot Grigio during the dinner hour. Diana provided all the dinners for the weekend.

Ingrid and Geoff came down from RI and Margaret joined them in Annapolis to visit with us in the afternoon.






Marita worked on her physical therapy with assistance from Ingrid.


Lori and John shared time with us later in the day, while Dennis showed up for another Guinness while tackling a cosmetic problem in the bathroom.

Carolyn came down from NY to be with us for a few days. She arrived in time for the dinner which Diana prepared for us.

Kathy arrived just in time for breakfast. Marita had her usual cereal, fruit, juice and milk.
Laura stopped in for a noontime visit, thanks to her hubby watching the children.


A little later Diana arrived from Oregon with some mighty delicious, locally-prepared crab soup, quiche and bread rolls. Magically, Ann and June showed up to join the reunion for the rest of the afternoon.

This allowed me to pick up Aunt Carol at the train station. She is down from Providence for the weekend.

Jim returned today to be with us again for the day. He has trooped in from the Virginia hinterlands three times in eight days. Today we made a road trip to the opthalmologist to evaluate Marita's loss of sight in her right eye and also to make sure her bruised right eye was healing properly.



Ellen and Charlie brought a Mexican dinner in the form of soft tacos and key lime pie.

Today started with a 9am audiology appointment in Largo. Dan was on board all day to help wheel Marita around and generally keep her happy and comfortable. I woke early to get ready and get Marita fed and dressed so we could have some margin navigating the wheelchair to the car. One can do it but it is much easier with extra hands.

We hope appointments with the audiologist and the ear doctor provided the information we need to get the device that will assist Marita's hearing best. It turns out that the simple aids we have may be the best type of product but we need something more sophisticated.

Maryann came this afternoon to be with Marita. She also did a few housekeeping chores and prepared dinner.

Marita was exhausted by day's end so we retired early to be ready for an eye appointment tomorrow.

Today was another up at 8 and 9, bathe and eat by 10 start, complicated by one's desire to do an 8lb. roast beef on the grill. It would have been easier without the phone calls. Jim showed up just in time to put a rub on the meat and get it on the grill.

Jim sat with Marita all day, letting her rest, feeding us lunch, and working Marita through the PT exercises on Jake's videos at opportune times.

Glenda came for Marita's weekly massage at 2:30. Marita really enjoys these quiet relaxing sessions. Tami stopped by to say a quick hello.

Adrian joined us for dinner. Jim headed back to Warrenton afterward.

Katie and Jake stayed over for breakfast and into early afternoon, giving Marita some sisterly love and a little PT. They left for home after Sherry's hospice visit. Jake made a few PT videos for everyone to use when giving Marita a workout.


Thelma and Louise made a lunchtime visit, sitting with Marita and taking her for a spin in the walker.

Jesse came to provide supportive counsel, a little music and some spiritual readings.

Adrian returned from Minnesota. He brought a gift from Courtney: matching hand-painted stemware.

Today is Drew's fourth birthday. He and Chase spent last night with us. Chase insisted on sleeping outside in a tent. Chase and I sang "Happy Birthday" to Drew once he was comfy in the sleeping bag. I told him he would be four years old when he woke up. Drew lasted about an hour before waking up. Jake took him under her wing, brought him inside and got him into a real bed. He said he didn't see any birthday cake around yet.

The boys wanted pancakes for breakfast. Marita followed suit.

Jake and Katie exercised Marita and did some PT. Then Marita nodded off for a while.

Dan and Vanessa came with Claudia in time to watch the game and organize Drew's birthday cake. Tom and Halie provided the best gift of the day, a transformer.

Marita slept in a bit today. It was almost ten when she got up. Kate and Jake took care of getting Marita ready, fixing breakfast for her and organizing dinner.
They also gave me a few hours off to go see the second half of my soccer team's game. I hadn't seen everyone since June and missed their comradery.

Gerry and Linda were on board early, helping with a few household chores, yard work, and various loose ends. Dan, Vanessa and the kids came after their morning soccer was done.

We had quite a few visitors in the afternoon. Robert, Rima, Barbara, Keisha, Lina and Vlad were all here to share time with Marita and offer comfort and support.

Jake prepared a hearty pea soup for dinner. We also had buffalo chicken and two fantastic salads from Elena.

Chase and Drew influenced the dessert choice: ice cream. They are staying over tonight to celebrate Drew's fourth birthday tomorrow. They are sleeping in a tent in the patio. Drew's first time ever.

Sherry, Gina, Kathy, Kate and Elaine

Marita's black eye improves


Elaine, Marita, Gina and Kate






Mick showed up to solve Marita's problem with hearing TV. He brought some extension cables from his band. We changed the sound settings on the TV so the headphone volume was high enough for Marita. Star Trek, here we come.

Gerry and Linda arrived from NJ later in the afternoon.

Jake arrived from NY in time to have dinner.

This morning Lally had breakfast with us and then had to be heading home to NH. We had a amazing week together. We look forward to her return in a few weeks.




A kiss goodbye







At noontime we had our first visit with Jesse, a pastoral counselor from hospice. This was a time to get acquainted, explore spiritual roots and take time to face the pain we now feel. Mercy joined our discussion when she arrived for lunch.




Kate arrived from VA to spend a few days with us.

Today started early. I had a dental appt before 8am and had to check out for an hour. It was fortunate that Lally could stay another day and cover the watch. Marita doesn't want me wandering off, even with backup.
By the time I returned we were running a little late getting set. We were still having breakfast when Jim and Claudia arrived to spend the rest of the day with us. We raised the possibility of visiting Deniz' shop to get Marita out for a change. It was more than she could handle so we decided not to try. She is so fearful about going somewhere and not being able to return safely.
We took a lap in the backyard instead. The routine Marita likes is to set up a few chairs in back which she uses to rest and mark her progress on the walker. Her left side has weakened to the extent that she cannot move her foot forward with help. Still, she is trying to find exercise opportunities even if it tires her.


Jim and Claudia in the backyard



Prudy, Maryann, Frank, Lally and Gerry at dinner


Lynne stopped in briefly to drop off a few more shopping list odds and ends. I think we are covered for meals through the weekend now.

Today we faced a major challenge, getting out to Kensington for a Neurology consultation. Thanks to an assist yesterday from Thelma and Louise we have a wheelchair now. It was just the ticket for bypassing the front steps and scampering around back. Now it looks like Marita can be out without much worry.

The neurology appointment was very helpful. We were able to get a clearer picture of the test results from the spinal taps performed during the hospital stay. The neurologist also spent a fair amount of time explaining what the physical tests indicated.


Lally escorted Marita for a short walk near the park across the street.

Clark and Eileen came from downtown to bring us lunch. We enjoyed Clark's potato leek soup. Eileen fed my pretzel habit and brought a few meals we stored for later.

Rita stopped in to see how we were and to bring an oven-roasted chicken. She hung around to share stories with Clark and Eileen.

Lynne came by around dinner to bring meat loaf, mashed potatoes and bread but we already had Linda's spaghetti pie heating in the oven. This is like heaven for the leftover lover in us.

Dan, Vanessa and the grandchildren came to have dinner.

The day began with a call from Delaware. A fellow named Ryan wanted to schedule us for the coming Friday in Lewes. That was easily done, but the moving thing to me was how the conversation changed to Marita and the words of kindness, faith and encouragement Ryan gave us to start the day.

Others have come forth with letters and personal expressions of support. We are so warmly held in your hands. It is humbling to feel the love from family, friends, colleagues and just plain nice people.

Sorry we didn't take any photos today.

Sherry came at noon to check on Marita. Thelma and Louise dropped by with some fantastic chicken soup from Kathy and a dinner from Linda for later this week. We had four on the soup at dinner and it looks like we have at least ten more hits to go.

Deniz came for dinner. She told us about her frightening experience closing her shop last night. An intruder entered the store and pocketed some items. He was approaching her in the back room when she encountered him. Apparently, and fortunately, she was more than he could handle. She managed to stop him in his tracks, empty his pockets of his haul and chase him away.

The cousins returned for breakfast. They brought bagels and filled in some holes in our shopping list. We had a couple of nice hours before they had to head back.
Marita made a game effort working her legs on the stairs to see them off.


Jennifer, Bill and Matt share a bit of sunshine with Marita.





Lally and Marita



Later in the day we had a special surprise. About forty congregants from a nearby pentacostal church came to pray for Marita. We read Psalm 91 and prayed with them.

We had a quiet evening. Marita retired early.

Beautiful Fall weather continues.
Cousins Bill, Matt and Jennifer are on the way from NJ as Lally, Marita and I have scrambled eggs and bagels for breakfast. We move the party outside when they arrive. Vic and Maureen join us a little bit later.
Marita worked with the therapy balls, assisted by Lally, Jennifer and Maureen. She has great difficulty lifting and moving he left leg.


Vic and Maureen

The afternoon group broke up around four so we took some restful downtime.

Julie and Darryl brought dinner. They prepared chicken in a sauce with figs and cous cous. For dessert we selected from an assortement of pastries and ice cream. It was a very mellow and convivial evening.



Three's charmin'.

The dinner party mugs for the blog.

Another nice day. What a pleasant week it has been.
Lally prepared our breakfast. Ham, sausage, scrambled eggs, cereal and fruit. Now Marita is worried she will gain 500 pounds. Yeah, right.


Catalina stopped in to say hello. She brought us rotiserrie chicken for dinner. Kathy was here to fill in various loose ends. She sat with us during breakfast, read to Marita and generally helped make things easy.


Nancy joined us at two, adding her butternut squash and apple soup to our arsenal of good eats. Nancy also put Marita through some PT exercises concentrating on range of motion and strength in her legs.

Cousin Pam was making a college visit to UMCP with her daughter Jodie and husband Lou so they made it a point to see us for a few hours before heading home to NJ. They brought us a full shelf of soups and pastas. It's sink or swim for leftovers now.

Caught nothing in the trap last night but the bait was gone.