Tony and Dail were here for us today. We allowed Marita to sleep late undisturbed. Dan arrived after noon to spend the afternoon.

Tony prepared a hearty bean and sausage soup which we consumed while watching the Giants beat the Redskins. Marita took in a cup of butternut squash soup, some milk, some juice. She continued to nap most of the time.

Tony, Dail and I played video poker until 11.

Marita was in bed before 6 and slept comfortably until 4. We were in and out of sleep until 8.

Dan and Chase spent the night with us. Dan was here in case we had another difficult night. As it turned out it was a bit of the usual but it wasn't easy getting there.

Gerry and Linda returned after breakfast. The daylight hours were spent sitting together and giving Marita comfort and assistance as needed.

Tony and Dail came down late tonight to be with us Sunday.

Marita stayed in bed late today. She spent a little part of the afternoon with us and then returned to bed.

Dan stayed overnight to be available. Vanessa and the children came after breakfast.

Gerry and Linda arrived from NJ around 3pm. Linda organized our Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner.



Gerry, Chase, Linda, Dan and I relaxed over a little video poker.

Happy Thanksgiving
We grilled the turkey at our place for the third year.

Charlotte prepared our 2008 timeline based on those we had for 2006 and 2007. Dan took charge of the grill, prepping and grilling the turkey.
Adrian and I peeled, boiled and mashed 10 pounds of potatoes.
We had contributions from Dan and Prudy for sweet potatoes, turnips and pie.
Vanessa did everything else.

Deniz joined us for the meal. Marita slept through dinner.

Delores was here as usual on Wednesdays. She was able to feed Marita most of her breakfast cereal, but Marita wouldn't take anything more. Marita spent most of the day napping.

Lina and Lynne visited later in the afternoon. Adrian joined us after coming home from work.

Marita went to bed early again but didn't rest very well once I came to bed at 11. We were up several times until she finally settled between 2 and 3.

Dan and Rob were both here early today but I chose to take snooze time over exercise. Dan did the honors serving Marita breakfast but sad to say she wasn't as eager to eat as yesterday. She even resisted soup offerings.





The refrigerator is ready for Thanksgiving. Please no food for a few days, friends.









Glenda was here for Marita's Tuesday massage.

Shelley stopped in while in town to pick her son up at Maryland.

John came to make sure that Marita's teeth didn't require more serious attention at his office.

Vanessa and the kids were here for dinnertime. Marita stepped it up a bit by eating several soup variations but her appetite is still spare.

Rob returned to be with us for another day. He came early again so I was able to work out before getting Marita ready. Rob picked up the egg and sausage sandwich Marita seems to like. Happily she again finished it all. We had Marita bathed, dressed and fed in time for an 11am massage.

Robin came again to provide massage for Marita. She is provided by hospice and is available twice each month.

Jesse arrived before Robin was finished so he sat with Adrian, Rob and me over coffee. We discussed Thanksgiving plans and Marita's recent behavioral changes. Marita was too zonked out after the massage to handle much pastoral care.


Sherry checked in with us around one. We decided to give Marita's throat a break by stopping a few of the pills for a while. She is sleeping well and hasn't had any stomach discomfort so we will see if she can do without those meds. Since her days have been so short recently we are also reducing her 3pd day pills to 2pd.



Adrian took a break from his caregiving to go shopping for our Thanksgiving turkey.

Karen made a quick visit to drop off another dinner from the Red Strikers.

Maggie joined us for part of the afternoon. She arranged for our dentist to come by tomorrow after Marita's Tuesday massage so we wouldn't have to bring her in the the office unless there is something worrisome.

Rita popped in to say hello and spend a few minutes with us. Meanwhile Rob slipped out and promised to return Tuesday.

Clark came out after work bringing his potato-leek soup that Marita loves so much she has two bowls. We relaxed over a beer or two as we waited for Marita to end her nap.

Eileen came a little later to round out the group. She brought a Moroccan lamb stew because she had heard me raving about Rima's dish and wanted to give it a try. We get to see how much they differ on the theme.

John L arrived as we were sipping through the soup. He brought more dinner. We gave part of it an immediate taste because it was the kind of soft food Marita now prefers.

It is becoming clear that Marita is not able to keep herself going all day and that her days have become shorter. She has begun to insist on an early bedtime even when she rises late and has a nap during the day.

It also helps to have many hands available to provide care. Marita is doing less for herself. Activities of daily living happen sequentially rather than in parallel.

Maureen came to help us through breakfast today. Marita was not pleased with what I had prepared, but fortunately, Maureen brought some chicken vegetable soup so we were able to make the adjustment quickly. Still it was necessary to puree the soup so she could swallow the larger pieces.

Adrian was off work. He stayed around to keep us company and be ready to assist Marita.

Robert joined us in mid-afternoon. We enjoyed the Belgian abbey ale he brought as we sat with Marita through more soups and an early bedtime.

Dan came shortly after Robert. After getting Marita to bed we sifted through old slides and 70's memories.

Jimmy stopped by to say hello and bring us a pumpkin pie for Thansgiving.

Marita and I were alone for much of the day. It was a challenge to make it through breakfast without supporting hands. Marita is having more trouble swallowing and is not able to easily feed herself.

Dan, Vanessa and the grands came mid-afternoon. I broke out the seviche Charlotte made.

Prudy, Gerry and Dan P came over for a little happy hour. Prudy brought a soup for Marita. We found that it may now work best to puree Marita's food.

Once again Marita went to bed before eight.

Once again I had time to do a morning workout to start the day as Rob arrived early to get breakfast organized and watch over Marita.

Kathy was here for her weekly visit. She regularly brings a sandwich for Marita. Today it had greater impact because Marita devoured all of it. She has been getting picky with the food lately, partly because the problem she has swallowing.

Pam and Gloria, old friends from days past at CT Reed, came by at lunchtime. They shared stories and pictures with us, including the one posted today on the left.

Robin came to give Marita a massage in mid-afternoon. Marita had been having discomfort today but she seemed to relax for the massage.

Marita balked at eating dinner and insisted on going to bed instead. It was a struggle but she ate, but not much. I will have to roust her later for her bedtime meds.

Rob and Charlotte were on the scene today. Again they came early enough for me to exercise before getting Marita up. Maggie joined us a short while later so Marita had a full table of companions for breakfast. The trio were close by all day so I had time to get some work done.



Charlotte recreated our Thanksgiving Day game plan and with Maggie's help prepared seviche with tilapia, shrimp and scallops.







Rima and Shawna stopped in early afternoon. They folded laundry after visiting with Marita for a bit.

Sherry was made her usual Thursday check. Chaya followed a short time later.

Ellen arrived shorly after four. She visited with us and then sat through dinner helping feed Marita.

Marita was especially tired after dinner so we put her to bed early.

Rob was back again early this morning to start the breakfast routine for us. Since I was up a little earlier I took the opportunity to put my erg to good use before he arrived.

Marita's appetite is variable lately. This week she has been doing well with hot cereals, soups and pasta dishes. She enjoys soup during the afternoon. She did well with dinner this evening.

Delores joined us for her regular Wednesday visit. She stayed a little longer today. Perhaps she enjoyed today's company sharing the watch over Marita.

Marita resisted the sofa until noon but there is only so much sitting she can take. She rests well on the sofa but tends to nod off, as she did for several hours today. Pain and anxiety were not a problem today.

Communication is a challenge. The hearing assitive devices do not provide consistent engagement. Often writing on a whiteboard has been more reliable.



Nancy was back in town from SC. She relaxed with Marita, Delores, Rob and me but still had time to service the wheelchair.





Charlotte and Margaret came by to catch up with Rob before heading downtown for dinner.

Deniz visited with us for a little while after dinner. Marita had her usual foot bath and then hit the sack early.

Rob was back again today. He came a little earlier to prepare and serve Marita's breakfast. She has switched to cream of wheat this past week. She is insistent on warm food and drink. She has also begun to demand a bit of coffee, usually out of my cup.

Rob stayed near Marita all day keeping her safe and entertained.

Dan came for his Tuesday time with us. He stayed all day and into bedtime. Vanessa joined us after noon so we had most of our clan on board today.

Glenda gave Marita her usual Tuesday massage. Even the kids were calm while she was here.

Tami came to visit after work. She shared some quiet time with Marita over a bit of soup.

Vanessa and the children left before dinner. Dan stayed with us and helped me with the nightly bedtime routine.

Lally stayed with us through breakfast and then was on her way to NH.






Rob is back in the house. Together we guided Marita through the maze of medications and food choices for breakfast. In between visitors I spent much of the day raking leaves.

Jesse came for his Monday spiritual visit. He gave Adrian special attention this morning after catching up on the week with Marita.

Sherry made her nursing visit after lunch. Marita has had several days in a row with less pain. She also seems less anxious.

Thelma and Louise popped in after Sherry departed. They dropped off a meal from Iland and Tiana.

Red Strikers Nancy, Sarah and Karen came with dinner and did extra duty by running out to the Giant with our shopping list.

Rob sat with Marita most of the day and engaged everyone as I raked. Then the three of us had a bowl of soup together before he headed off to Annapolis. Before Rob left son Jose stopped in after school to be with us. He finished off the last of Sunday's fajitas while we got dinner organized and then was off.


Marita willingly took her foot bath and retired comfortably at 9:30.

Today promised to be a nice slow day and we were not disappointed.

Lally began her day with a visit to our local parish St. Mark's. I delayed getting up until nine to give myself time to recover from staying up late lately. Still Marita was dressed and deep into her oatmeal before eleven.




Dan stopped by to say hello and leave a meal for us.





Darrell joined us for a bit in mid-afternoon. He worked with the whiteboard. He also swept the stairs clear of leaves before he left.



Lenore came down from PA for a special visit. We had fajitas for dinner. Marita skipped the epsom salt bath.

Today we tried something new. So far all Marita's trips out of the house have been for doctor's appointments or to vote. Lally expressed an interest in visiting the National Shrine so we asked Marita if she would like to go there.
Road Trip.



We got ourselved ready and made sure not to dally after breakfast. We were able to get on the road before one. It was a bit squishy getting out and Marita was notably weaker supporting her weight but the benefits of the day were significant.



We spent almost four hours at the shrine. It was a time of peace and calm, in effect a spiritual massage.

When we returned we had some soup and then continued to graze until bedtime, ie. 7:30 for Marita. Dan came down to hang with us so she managed to last until nine-ish. Afterwards Dan and I shared a few brews until Adrian came home.

Lally did the breakfast honors again today. We are starting to get Marita back on a routine again. Unfortunately she wants to go to bed earlier now so it is harder to get up before she is stirring.

Kathy appeared for her usual Friday caregiving assist. We were still at breakfast when she arrived.

Rob joined us after arriving from Colorado. We sat around the table bringing him up to date on events since his visit last month. Later in the day he and I walked to the mall to pick up a prescription and a couple of whiteboards, an attempt to include writing in our communication pathways.

Sherry made a nursing visit and ordered replenishment of most of our drug inventory.

Fr. Dillon visited before dinner.

Lally continued her visit. She worked with me to figure out what Marita would eat for breakfast. Marita seems to be leaving food untouched that she would have devoured earlier. We may have a challenge getting her appetite back.

Mercy came with soup for lunch. It is never a problem getting Marita to take soup.




Louise, Shelley and Carolyn came visiting a little later in the afternoon.




Chaya came to work with Marita about sharing her concerns. The hearing assistive devices were not helping their communication so Chaya tried writing questions on a pad. This seemed to help as they went on for over an hour.

Today promised to be quiet day with no excitement on the schedule. However Marita couldn't get comfortable after breakfast and complained of a headache again. We tried the Tylenol approach but it didn't work this time. We called the hospice hot line rather than continue guessing. We brought the pain under control with an added dose of the usual meds.
Lally was here to share the breakfast routine and grab loose ends.

Delores came for the Wednesday assist from hospice. She joined with Lally and I in soothing Marita.

Glenda came for an added massage seesion.

Katie returned to VA after breakfast. Lally started her weeklong visit.

Paula and Keithia came from UMD to make sure we were set up correctly with the hearing aids and the conversor transmitter. We are getting good and not so good results from these.

Dan came for his regular Tuesday stint. He was here most of the day keeping Marita safe, fed and relaxed.

Gerry appeared around midday to see how we were doing. He became a newly-minted grandfather on the seventh.

Glenda came for Marita's Tuesday massage session. Once again Marita was at peace and relaxed by Glenda's touch.

Tami stopped by after work for a quick hello and pleasant chit-chat.

Vanessa and the kids joined us at dinnertime.

Jake and Katie stayed on past the weekend. This morning they once more took care of Marita's bath and breakfast. Jake had to head back to NY around noon.

Jesse was here to sit with Marita and share a spiritual time together. Marita was in a sad mood today. Jesse helps her with these issues. Today it was particularly poignant when she recited the prayer of St. Francis after Jesse asked if she had a favorite prayer.

Sherry made her regular Monday visit. Pain and anxiety management are the big issues. Marita's right eye continues to improve. Her hearing seems to be getting worse.

Elaine stopped in for a quick hello. Then Karen appeared with a meal on behalf of the Red Strikers.

Dennis came by to check on the Guinness supply and finish the tile repair in the bathroom. Marita was deep in sleep as we sampled a second libation in the basement watching Adrian play video games.

Lally arrived from NH and got herself settled.

At day's end Chaya checked in from hospice.

Katie and Jake continued their visit, getting Marita ready and preparing breakfast again.
Lori and Linda came to visit around one. They stayed with Marita for most of the afternoon while I cleaned the gutters and raked leaves.
Dan, Vanessa and the children joined us for dinner.

Kate and Jake got Marita ready for the day prepared her breakfast.
Mary Pat and Christine came early in the afternoon to visit for most of the afternoon.
Dan and Tom showed up just before dinner and kidnapped me to a local spot for some wings and beers.
Vanessa and the kids visited with Marita while we were out.

The big challenge today was to get out to the University of Maryland without an extra hand on the wheelchair, but we made it.
We had an early appointment at the UMD hearing and speech clinic with Paula, Keithia and Sharon. They had prepared a pair of hearing aids for Marita to use with the Conversor we got earlier. They seem to offer promise but it remains to be seen how much we can get on the moving target represented by Marita's hearing. Marita started to have a painful headache while we were there.
Kathy arrived for her weekly visit shortly after we got home. She helped us start the process of fiddling with all the hearing devices.
Vanessa and Claudia came to hang with us for a few hours.
Katie arrived for a weekend visit later in the afternoon.
Jake arrived shorly after dinner for a similar visit.

We had a pretty good day today.
Sherry made her usual Thursday hospice care visit to check on Marita's health and medications.
Thelma and Louise appeared at midday.
Joe and Kay joined us at five to bring dinner and visit for a bit.

Today started out with great promise. Marita was comfortable overnight and was dressed and ready early. It turned out to be filled with ups and downs.
Delores appeared for her weekly hospice visit.
Diane stopped in to say a quick hello on her way to work.
Rima and Shawna came after calling ahead to make sure Marita was doing okay. By time they arrived she was having considerable discomfort. It was a challenge to deal with the pain in conjunction with Marita's hearing and vision loss.
Glenda came to give the weekly Wednesday massage. These sessions have been a reliable bedrock of relief over time.
In the evening we attempted to do some of the PT exercises we were given the day before.

ELECTION DAY 2008

Dan came early after voting to lift us through another Tuesday. He stayed with Marita while I voted and surveyed the situation for her to vote later.
Paula and Keithia came from UMD with The Conversor, an assistive listening device designed to work with hearing aids or by itself. It has a microphone with an FM transmitter to help remove background noise and deliver enhanced sound to its receiver. The receiver can be used with headphones, earbuds or hearing aids. It is clearly a step up but it does not seem to give Marita complete clarity and comprehension.

We had inclement weather here today. Getting to the polls across the street required our first bad weather excursion through the yard with the wheelchair. Fortunately, it was a light drizzle so we managed just fine. As leaves accumulate it may become a different story.

Marita voted with my assistance. There was no line so the wait was minimal. It took more time to deal with getting me into the booth to assist her. Adrian cast his first vote in this election.

After voting Marita had a Physical Therapy evaluation in Largo for her ankle foot drop. The therapist did a more extensive evaluation. She gave us exercises to work the foot muscles.

Glenda was able to push our appointment back to 4 so Marita didn't miss her regular Tuesday massage. These massages are so beneficial for her relief.

The rest of the day went well. WE tool a little time to practicse some of the PT but still got to bed early.

It looks like the return to standard time will present new challenges. Marita seems be on savings time while I have made the switch. We haven't discussed it together. I am now the one who is always late - mostly by an hour.

Jesse came to give counsel during the noontime. Sherry came for the routine Monday nursing followup.

Red Strikers Nancy, Diane, Karen and Sarah were joined by Maggie.

Sunday turned out to be an opportunity for taking a road trip to Lewes. We were there Labor Day weekend but had since been relying on the kindness of friends to do things that we could not do there. Neighbors Mary and Joe took delivery of a chest of drawers for the living room. Prudy and Gerry surfed through the kitchen and refrigerator to keep exotic wildlife at bay. Still, there are things one needs to face personally.


We had a ladder guy handy in brother Russ, his willingness to be on the road all day, and Catherine and Jan's readiness to manage Marita's needs for the day. Russ got our screens into safety for the winter and we got things ready for closing.

Charlie and Anne timed their visit to our return in mid-afternoon. They shared travel notes with Jan who raved about her recent trip to Slovenia.

Jenoba and David came over to boost Marita's spirits with a home-made card from Jared and Caleb.

Today was a great improvement over the past few days. Marita was much more comfortable. She was also able to do some physical therapy and make a few trips using the walker.

Jan arrived early to help get breakfast on the table and tend to Marita all day.

Russ, Catherine and Gillian came down from NY to put themselves to good use. Catherine and Jan kept Marita comfortable and entertained. Russ helped with cleaning the gutters and making barbequed pork loin for dinner.

Dan, Vanessa, Chase, Drew and Claudia joined us for dinner.